After a good sleep in the tunnel, I woke refreshed and ready to continue telling my story. After so many days of solitude without conversation, it felt delightful to have Zig hanging on my every word.
Zig appeared particularly interested in my childhood asking questions about my mother and father, who had long since passed. I felt eager to answer as if somehow talking about them, would bring them back, if only fleetingly. My parents had never talked much about the past. Maybe it was too painful to bring up. I felt as if there was a cloud of sadness, which coloured their lives.
At this point in our conversation, Zig suggested that it would be beneficial for me to visit a renowned cavern in the tunnels to view some historical symbols on the walls, so I made a trip deep down into the tunnels. What I saw propelled me into a total and utter state of shock!
The walls depicted red squirrels, on numerous occasions, being driven out of their homes by disease and scarcity of food, and not by force and violence as I had been brought up to believe. Why had my parents hidden this from me?
I returned to Zig with so many questions, most beginning with why? Zig calmly seized upon my confusion, with a series of probing questions about my discovery.
As the days passed Zig kept digging into my past and I felt as if I was disappearing down therapeutic ‘rabbit holes’ or to be more precise ‘mole holes’ led by Zig.
Zig continually asked me why this?…why that?… why do you think? This just lead to to more questions, ever decreasing circles of inquiry and my spirit sinking lower.
I paused at this point and spoke to Milo. Now I’ve always stated that ‘questions are the answer’ and I really believe that. However ‘why’ questions especially with regard to the past or your emotions, after the initial insight they bring, very rarely are beneficial or bring about the changes you want….and they can also make you feel a lot worse.
However there is one great exception! So my question to you Milo is, what is the exception? Take your time, it is certainly not an easy question.
Milo paused and stared into the distance. In their last meeting, he would have been desperate to find the answer quickly and prove his worth to Epic. But now, more mature, he just allowed the answer to surface in its own time.
He thought of his present journey, and why he decided to make it. He had really wanted to see Epic…he knew he still had so much to learn from him…….he listened to his intuition….
He turned to Epic and exclaimed, ” I know the answer! ‘Why’ is marvellous for motivation.” If there’s something that you want to do, then find reasons ‘why’ it will be beneficial for you to do it, and keep adding to them, until you have the motivation to propel you towards your goal.”
Epic beamed with pride at his student and friend, ” Yes, that that is exactly right. It took me a very long time after my meeting with Zig to understand the benefit of ‘why’ questions. You have understood it in an instant. Absolutely brilliant Milo!
I’ll continue now with my story. I kept returning to one why question. Why, why did those grey squirrels run towards me? If they were not aggressive towards red squirrels, driving them out of their homes, as I had believed, then why did they run towards me. Maybe they were even friendly. Maybe my false belief had coloured my perspective and led me to take to an unnecessary ‘leap of faith’ and journey.
I became increasingly introspective, asking continual ‘what ifs’. I felt myself struggling under the weight of a great burden and my spirits sank.
Although Sig still thought we were making progress, I began to doubt that the conversations were helping and believed they were actually making me feel worse.
I felt trapped and stuck, with the tunnels closing in around me. They had at first provided shelter and sanctuary from the winter and my troubles, but as time passed, I felt that the dark network of tunnels formed a sort of prison. I was accustomed to be up in the trees looking out over the land below.
Unfortunately, venturing to the surface provided little relief on account of the dense undergrowth surrounding me. I felt tired, despondent and lonely, despite my companion.
A day or two later, it finally happened. My heart started to race uncontrollably.,,
I felt breathless and light-headed…
I was terrified and desperate…
I wanted to run…
I couldn’t stay any longer in these tunnels…
I found my way to the surface – and fled…
Panic stricken, I kept running, battling through the undergrowth, not knowing where I was going, but finding some relief in flight. When I finally reached the end of the undergrowth I stopped. Ahead of me the world cleared into open landscape.
New and unknown, but familiar looking territory.
I began to steady my breaths and calm down slightly, my excess energy expended. However, now there was a new dilemma. Although oppressed by the undergrowth, I recoiled at the thought of leaving it. Full of an ironic mix of emotions that confused and overwhelmed me, I decided to wait until morning.