By sunset, I reached my first obstacle: a huge, imposing wall, which sloped towards me, making it impossible to climb. It was enclosed on either side by dense undergrowth, making it impossible to pass. Shadows clawed and grasped the stone wall, causing my imagination to conjure up different images of terrifying creatures.
Fear gripped me again for the first time in a long time. My first spontaneous thought was, ‘This is too scary. I shouldn’t go any further.’ This feeling magnified further when I lowered my head and noticed gravestones lining the path in front of the wall. “I really can’t go any further!” I repeated in my head.
I sat back, unsure and fearful. I nearly turned around and retraced my steps, but then I remembered Milt’s advice, “If you find any obstacles on your journey you can always choose to view them another way.”
So I decided to face my fears and find a solution. I offered up a prayer, asking for help. I was answered instantly. From the corner of my eye, I caught sight of a beautiful bird in a tree nearby, moving up and down the trunk, with great agility.
Curious to find out more, I hurried over to the tree and saw that it was a nuthatch. I immediately noticed his striking blue back, which took me back fleetingly to memories of gazing at the blue sky and feeling the excitement of dreaming about out endless, different possibilities. Then I looked at his chestnut brown chest and felt a sense of being grounded in the earth, in reality.
The nuthatch turned his head and studied my face with a knowing expression, before suddenly flying off and leaving me strangely puzzled.
Within a minute he returned to the tree and stated, ” My friend will be with you shortly.” This left me feeling even more bemused.
A short while later from the corner of my eye, I caught sight of a rabbit in the distance, coming towards me. When he finally arrived, for some unknown reason, I found myself immediately giving voice to my inner thoughts.
“Hello. Could you help me?”
“Of course, it would be a great pleasure,” replied the rabbit. “My name is Cal, but everyone calls me Tapper.”
“I am scared of the wall and I can’t go past it.” I blurted out.
“Ah! Well, it is easy for your imagination to play tricks on you and exaggerate your fears,” replied Tapper, gazing across at the wall. “I have a useful technique that might interest you.”
My mood brightened straight away. “ Oh, good. Please tell me.”
“Of course!” Tapper leaned forward, “This technique can be used to change your life and also to help others as well. I developed it to help rabbits in distress. Many rabbits that have been chased by foxes, even on escaping, often become traumatised.”
“Understandably, what an awful experience!”
“Indeed. They are unable to function properly because they remain caught in a continual state of panic. In the past, very few recovered. Then I found a technique which involved tapping certain meridians on the body. By doing this, their fear disappeared and they were cured.”
My eyes widened in astonishment before I smiled and pronounced, “I understand now why they call you Tapper.”
The rabbit grinned before asking me to tap on various parts of my body while saying various, different statements, one of them being, ‘Even though I am scared to pass the wall and I don’t feel safe, I am fine and accept myself as I am.’
After a couple of rounds of tapping on these statements, I looked up at the wall. I felt as if I was seeing everything with new eyes. I noticed that the shadows on the wall were being cast by the trees. Without the sun, they would be gone. With this realisation, my initial fear of the shadows dissipated.
“Take a closer look at the gravestones,” Tapper directed. “What do you see etched on the stones?”
I looked closely and identified the word ‘SHOULD’
“What does it mean,” I asked aloud.
“Well, did you have any thoughts about this wall, which by the way is called, ‘The Expectations Wall’?” enquired Tapper. “What came to mind when you saw it?”
“I did think I should stop. I told myself I shouldn’t go any further” I replied.
“There you are! Expectations create an image of how you think things should be.
And what about the other ‘should’ and ‘shouldn’t’ thoughts on your journey?”
“Well, I have found myself thinking I should be able to apply the ideas that I have been taught. Further, when they don’t appear to be working I keep thinking that they should work. I should be nice and I shouldn’t get angry.”
I paused. Louise had talked about ‘shoulds’ but at that time I was not fully ready to understand their significance.
“What a big burden you are carrying!” Tapper shook his head and continued, “Very often we are aware of the big fears harming us but we ignore the ‘shoulds’.
Sometimes I say this to creatures, who cannot grasp the significance of the harmful effects of living by ‘shoulds’ – Every ‘should’ is making us unhappier on the way to an early grave….
Do you want, ‘Epic should have been happier’ written on your headstone?”
This sent shudders down my spine as I suddenly realised how I had been living. After a few rounds of tapping on ‘I should’ statements, Tapper asked me to look again at the gravestones and tell him what I could see.
I gazed steadily at the gravestones and to my surprise, I noticed the word ‘COULD.’ I walked to another and there again was ‘COULD.’
How could this be?
Tapper joined me as I walked around the headstones. Some of the stones were engraved with the word ‘COULD’, which I had not noticed before.
“Now look at the wall and tell me what you see” said Tapper. At the base of the wall I caught sight of a tiny gap. To my delight, I realised I could go through it and continue my journey. In my excitement, I hugged Tapper tightly.
“Thank you so much!”
“You’re welcome! Remember this technique and go forward without fear.”
With renewed energy and confidence I set off through the wall. A huge burden had been lifted!
Chapter 14 – New Views – click