“After our separation, I felt completely distraught and desolate, but I also knew that I had to find the answers to change how I felt. So I kept venturing out hoping that I would meet someone who could help me.
One afternoon I stopped for a rest. Feeling despondent, I slumped against a tree and inadvertently asked the tree for help. A little while later a vole appeared from the undergrowth with a bounce in his step, full of the joys of spring. He looked at me and stated,” I remember that look. That was me a short while ago until I met this most amazing creature.”
“Now this will interest you, Milo. This is an amazing coincidence.” Soul added.
The enthusiastic vole continued, “Before I tell you about this amazing creature, let me first introduce myself. My name is Oak and you are…..” “Soul, I replied.”
“It’s good to meet you Soul. So, back to my story. Within a very short. of time, a close relationship ended, I injured myself badly and a member of my family died in unfortunate circumstances. I struggled to cope and fell into a depression. One of my friends, concerned about my well-being, told me that he had heard about this amazing healer of the mind and it would be good for me to go and visit him. It was a few days travel away but I was desperate to try anything.
When I reached my destination I caught sight of this incredibly striking red squirrel.” Milos eyes widened on hearing the words red squirrel and turned to Soul. “Yes Milo, the red squirrel is the Epic you met. What a coincidence.”
Oak carried on,” I told the squirrel about my problems, forgetting to tell him my name. However, on hearing my name, he started telling me stories in a slow comforting voice about oak trees and their power. I found myself going into a trance like state. I can’t remember all that was said but there were times I remember feeling like an oak tree, feeling grounded in the earth and a sense of confidence and autonomy. It was an incredibly healing experience.
Later Epic explained to me, ‘It’s not what happens to you you but what you make of what happens that is important.‘ You are not at the mercy of events. You, and only you you, are responsible for your feelings. Through the choices you make, and the meanings that you give to things you can change how you feel at any time. It was an incredibly powerful message and one, which I carry with me all the time.
I stayed with Epic for a few days until I really felt that I understood his teaching. I have lived by it every day and as you can see I am happy and full of joy, whereas not long ago I was sat there looking dejected like you. Live by this simple message Soul and you can and will change”….and with that Oak was gone as quickly as he had arrived.
I turned and looked at the tree in disbelief. I had asked the tree for help. A vole called Oak had appeared with an amazingly powerful message. It must have been the tree, I was bewildered, but also extremely grateful, so I offered my thanks to the tree.
“This is the beginning Milo of how you change. I want you to go back to your burrow and really understand, not just in your head but in your heart, that you are responsible for your feelings. Say to yourself repeatedly, I am responsible for my feelings.
Before you go, I just want to mention one thing that may have influenced you to forget what you had already learnt from Epic, when you met him.
What has probably happened is that you felt such an intense love for Daisy that you wanted to merge with her. But by doing this you lost yourself in her. You lost your sense of identity and made her feelings more important than your own. This is a lesson I also had to learn.
A very wise, spiritual water vole, called ‘Charm’ gave me a lovely metaphor, which enabled me to really understand this idea, “I’m a water vole, and when I submerge into the river, I merge and am one with the river, but I still know that I am a separate from the river. I’m also reminded every time I leave the river, that I am an independent individual. It is very important to realise this and it will help you take back responsibility for creating your own feelings.
I think that is enough for one day. Take some time this evening to really understand these ideas. Let them sink in overnight. Reflect on them in the morning and I’ll meet you here at midday, Milo.
That evening, while really trying to understand in his heart that he was responsible for his feelings, Milo enjoyed reflecting on his original meeting with Epic and he kept voicing to himself Epic’s mantra, ‘It’s not what happens to you but what you make of what happens to you that is important.‘
He realised that he had forgotten this lesson. At this time he could see that he had merged and lost himself in Daisy, but it would be a while before he could really understand this in his heart, as he was still just too attached to her in his head, as well as his heart.